Tuesday, December 18, 2012

2012

其实标题跟内容没什么关联,
只是很懒惰想就随便啦。
明天有考试,我还睡不着,
晚上不睡觉,早上不起床
很典型的学生生活。。至少
晚上我都呆在家没有出去夜蒲。
因为最近爱上了vampire diaries
又回到宅在房间看续集的日子
只是晚上会一直乱乱做乱七八糟吸血鬼的梦。
糟糕。。下雨了。。我不喜欢晚上下雨,
因为我会睡不着。。没有原因,真的睡不着。。
最近心情很复杂,我知道原因在哪里,
只是不懂怎样解决。
很多东西明明知道还要装不知道,
你知道那是什么样的感觉吗?
知不知道那种如果你不讨好就会失去的那种感觉吗?
可是,我不想要为了要赢得一个人的心或要留着一个人
而去讨好他,做他想要你做的事,就好像vivi讲的,
把对方当作陶瓷酱搓成你要的形状,
只因为,你是一个选择。
我不想要因为对方喜欢怎样的人,你就要变成一个怎样的人
因为他本来就应该喜欢这样的你。
我什么都不想知道,
我只是告诉自己适当的时候就应该做应该的事。
Christmas is coming :)
not to mention about how much i love xmas and how much it meant to me,
actually wish for something special for this xmas but i guess
it's off my wishlist ..
It seems like even im babbling about how much i wanted xmas to come
but i don't think it feels the same deep down inside.
Why ? :(








Sunday, December 16, 2012

Happy Ending ? No ?

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known



I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

Maybe I was naïve,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale,
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear view mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now


P/S : It just simply sang out my feelings when i came across the lyric.
        And yes, the mv broke my heart .. :/
        I am tired and i just wanna run away

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Getaway !!

I want a holiday !!
I know i've been whining about this for the past few weeks
but it seems that i am not even close enough to get one.
I've been to China and Thailand twice this year with the family
and yes i know i should be grateful enough already
but i am hoping for a proper trip with someone,
girlfriend perhaps but i guess it would be hard
since everyone is so attached with their rs recently.
I can barely remember the last trip i had with my girlfriend,
that's like five freaking months ago and that's not even counted as a trip,
because we went to GENTING .. that explain..
Used to have plans whenever it comes to holiday
but now that everyone seem to be happily going on with their own life
and i am like the only pathetic fellow here with no company
for a small little trip .. seriously .. I need a holiday ...
Sorry to annoy you but yes, before my finals i've been whining about it,
during my holidays, i am still whining about it yet i can't be able to  make it
because my dad was admitted to the hospital,
and now after my freaking finals and finally it comes to the new sem
and i had a long weekend, i still can't freaking get my holiday.
Felt devastated.








Happy moments yet to be gained back .....
Sigh, we will just leave that aside
BTW, Christmas is coming SOON.
FYI, x'mas is always my favorite festive season throughout the year,
Well, who doesn't love x'mas
too bad i've only one day off for the celebration
because of my classes..
NVM, we will always have time for x'mas !!!
Not going to do the cheesy countdown
but i am going back to set up my christmas treeeeeee !!


No love for this post,
WM

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

hello

Hello people.
Started new semester with supplementary paper(sad case)
and officially start attending class today..
Well, holiday ended pretty fast 
and i have not done anything special in this three weeks
except meeting the ex-intians from SAM (if this is counted).
Past is past and no matter how much we reminisce it,
those good old days will never come back.
We could just cherish the present, cheesy i know but that's 
what i can do least by now ..
Oh and the final epic ending of Twilight is coming soon :)

First read about the book in 2009, and can't stop reading but 
i didn't finish the last book because i was spoilt by a story teller.
Ok conclusion just wanna say i love the movie and book alot 
and i even blogged about the feeling i read the first book 
in this particular blog i hope i've deleted the post felt so stupid .
I wonder why i don't have anything to write in my blog anymore
maybe its because i think expressing out wouldn't help solving my problem,
the same problem that haunt me,
continue haunting me and there is no solution for that.
i am just following the flow and being a coward.
sometimes, i really hate myself for being so,
but, i am left with no choice but to wait.
Since i was born, i am not a patience type of person,
mom said i have bad temper.
dad said i am 'guai lan' 
i get angry to stuff that doesn't goes my way easily
i get grumpy whenever people in front of me moving slow
i got trapped by my own feeling being furious for tiny stuff
but when it comes to rs, everything goes the opposite way.
and that's how it eff me upside down.
and yes, like i always say
you will never understand how i feel


Love,
WM

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Hard Time

There will always be hard time in life.
Yes, everyone has that .
When it happens to me,
i feel like falling apart sometimes.
But eventually i realized that,
there is nothing in this world that you can't cope with,
all you have to do is just get used to it,
although it takes time,
but when u finally did,
you care less.
Conclusion,
it lesser your sadness and yes it makes you happier





Love,
WM

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

This is Life

I said i hate life with restriction,
we don't really get to do what we want
and we can't really be happy all the time.
He said, this is life.
Yea it was never a bed of roses.
There will still be sadness, disappointment,
stress, emo and shit like that.
Well, what we can do is just minimize it.
Finals will be happening next week.
And i can't really feel the stress yet, because
there are too much stuff that are bothering me right now.
I don't feel like thinking about it but it cant stop hunting my mind.
You know you are scared when the future is not
what you can control and its definitely not in your hand.
Its like driving behind a bus and not knowing what's in front you.
I guess i am just too carried away.
Beside these shits,
i had a great weekend with full of guiltiness.






Attended Hennessy Artistry at KWC but not as fun as i expected
and we end up at zouk for after party.
It's been ages since i party with Lee Vee, my evil twins,
we had fun.
and its time for me to come back to my life as a student.
Knock on my forehead and tell myself, wake up.
Study mode - ON



Love,
WM

Monday, September 3, 2012

Hey There

There's a place that i know 
it's not pretty there and few have ever gone
if i show it to you now
will it make you run away
Or will you stay
even if it hurts
even if i try to push you out will you return?
and remind me who i really am

Everybody's got a dark side 
do you love me
and do you love mine
nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it
Will you love me,
even with my dark side?

Like a diamond
from black dust
its hard to know
what can become
if you give up,
so don't give up on me
please remind me who i really am

don't run away
just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay


p/s : nobody is perfect neither do i, but you will never know
what you get in the end if you give up.
Stay strong and keep holding on.

Love,
WM

Monday, August 27, 2012

Complication

I am not sure whether its right or wrong about being
so honest and frank on what i did throughout the past .
maybe it would make people trust me less
or feel insecure and fake on what i will be doing
in the future but what i know is i don't want to lie.
i am  done with lying and i know the consequences of it.
truth always hurt but it hurt more when the secret burst.
People used to said that there are no relationship without lies,
i used to agree with it but not now anymore .
things hidden beneath just make things worst
and it makes people wonder and become suspicious.
enough with all these guessing and trick,
thinking of all the possibility that could happen
behind every sentence you've said.
I felt emotionally naked in front of you now,
its like you can see through my mind and thoughts,
so, being honest is the least i can do .
I know clearly what myself is capable of,
I've been through so much that i just want
things to be as simple as possible now.
I hope things would get better.
What i want is just a normal and ordinary rs.
I was hoping for a peace of mind
just like the old days.
Stress free :)


Love,
WM





Monday, August 6, 2012

Myself

This is what i wrote about myself 2years ago.

AWM
is a self-centered person.
adores freedom but too much of it will make her lose control.
rebellious when restricted
yet willing to change for someone who is worth it.
is something arrogant and want things to go her way
but there are possibility that she will endure with it for someone.
is not a tolerant person and sometimes does not even wish to tolerate but
somehow willing to change.
is against emo-ness although but could be quite emotional at times.
is afraid of commitment but willing to accept challenge at the same time.
can be very dependable sometimes but she know she will have to count on herself.
tend to be strong and tough but sometimes she feel like crying when she face lil obstacle.
admit that clubbing is a part of her life
giving up one of her favorite activity is undeniably hard
yet she had chosen to accept the fact that it was for her own good.
afraid of losing when things seem to good to be true.
and is not a good partner as she always thought but
always think she deserve the best.


After reading it back, well mostly still remain true but
some part of it make me feel like chuckling .
I realize making me a good partner depending on
what kind of partner i am dealing.
I guess the next would be better .
When you said, you will eventually make the same mistake again,
because its you,
that makes me wonder, what kind of person i am.
I have no idea why demand me to change
when i am perfectly happy with my life now.
Even when i met someone who is worth it and i change AGAIN,
how long would it last?
Nevertheless,
i would still give it a try.



Love,
WM

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Life as a student

You start to feel like a student when your exam and assignment due dates are near.
And what worst is the due dates and exam dates are just soooo freaking near.
My midterm is happening now and my assignment is assisting it in messing up my life as well.
For a procrastinator like me, there is no such thing as preparing, there is only RUSHING !!
Mind u, but i actually enjoy meeting assignment deadlines.
The moment when you finishes everything on time and handing in like a boss :p
But this doesn't apply on my exam lah, you know last minute study can really kill you.
Even though its just a midterm, but everyone treating it like finals and studying like nobody business.
Well, peer pressure always do its job great and we all have to study like that too .
I enjoy late night study with friends in a group of 3 or 4 perhaps and doing shit stuff while we are stress out.
Unfortunately i can hardly get the chance to do so again :(
most of my friend prefer studying at home, ALONE.
MISS MY SAM LIFE .
:)

P/S : There has been some shitty stuff that happened recently and honestly i don't think i would give a shit anymore. What i can do is just move on and live my life happily as what i've promised myself last year. It would be better than ever because of you, JG . Thanks for everything :)


Love,
WM

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hi There :)

Hi there.
Just feel like updating my blog at this moment.
Well, blogspot is still the place that will always be here for me
whenever my mind is stuck.
Someone told me today, your action and words were never the same.
what you said and what you did was totally different.
Deep thought for few second, and suddenly remind me of what my dad said,
he told me the same thing too.
So, is it good or is it bad, does this mean that i am not good at holding promises,
or  i am always telling lies ? Hmm.
Things are always good when its still ambiguous,
it might be a lil bit messy, but it still feels good.
I hate when thing get serious,
or a more proper word, 'afraid' .
I kept a distance because i am afraid to fall.
But, i think this time, i've tripped and fall .
I hope it would be worth to try.
because i never like regrets in my life,
unfortunately, i never like failure too.
What should i do this time?








just feel like an idiot .


Love,
WM

Sunday, June 10, 2012

:)



Came across this post in my friend's blog.

Agreed with what he's trying to express
and decided to share it here.


Love and Romance.

A friend asked me a question today. Basically it went like this, "Do you think two people can stay in love for a long time". At the time, I thought to my self, no. I has always been fixed with this answer. It just didn't seem possible for two people to be together for long periods of time, yet alone their entire lifetime. But being the lonely bastard that I am, I began thinking about it. And here's something interesting I came up with.

I believe that married people can find even more profound joys, be it with the birth of their children or the depth of the relationship itself that can evolve into something that they can't possibly live without. Yet, its still something that doesn't quite resemble love. At least not the romance of love. This is my conclusion after long deliberation. The love you have for a person, comes from your heart, so it can never die. However, its the romance in the relationships that cannot last. The flowers, the candy and the cute names. I'm not saying its impossible, its just improbable.

The promise of love can be everything. That being said, I believe that love, even if its for a day, means something. Romance is at this point, irrelavant. I guess Im just too much of a romantic. One of my lady friends once told me, " Jay, no girl or woman could ever possibly live up the promise of tomorrow that love holds for you. You're too picky". Thats the problem isn't it. People who are desperate for boyfriends and girlfriends always embrace the promise of tomorrow. There are too few people who actually celebrate the joy of "now".

Every morning, I wake and think to myself, will this be the day? Everynight i put my head on my soft pillow, I wonder to myself, will I meet her tomorrow? I imagine what she'll look like, her smile, her hair, and the way she laughs. Like I said, the promise of love can be everything. So, I guess that love is eternal but romance is today. Its not impossible, just improbable. But then again, who knows?

Copied from: joshuajasonng.blogspot.com

Full stop

Whenever a relationship comes to an end,
there will always be sad and depressing moments.
but it doesn't mark an end to your life,
life still goes on and the globe would still be spinning with you or without you.
Apparently , i feel numb to everything around me,
emotionless to 'the loss' and at the same time 'the gain'
Some said its the peak of my life, unfortunately i felt nothing.
I don't feel like a student right now,
the last time i felt so was a month ago when i was having my finals .
What i am doing now is exceeding the limit.
Its time to behave.
Staying at home on a Sunday is a good start.







Saturday, March 17, 2012

lies

No matter how good a relationship could be,
there are still lies.
sometimes we lie to make the other half feel better
without knowing the truth
but who knows the truth hurt the most if it was discovered
after the lie was told.
No matter what the reason was, if you plan to hide or lie,
make sure that the truth will never be revealed,
if not i prefer revealing the truth.
And another thing about lies being discovered was
no matter what was your intention of telling a lie,
you lost the trust that u've gained before.
It doesn't matter what the latter have done to
mend it, people forgive but they never forget.
People gets suspicious from time and start asking more question,
creating more scene and this is what that weaken the bond between a couple.
That‘s what i learnt from my past experience.
so as a conclusion,
if u cant make sure your lies will remain unknown for life, DONT LIE.
if u can, lie wholly .
But for me i wish there'll be no more lies in my life,
even the truth hurts, i still prefer it.


Love,
WM

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Beginning of the year

The blog was deserted for three months and now im finally back.
This dragon year was supposed to start with bliss but unfortunately
granny passed away one day before my birthday on Valentine's day.
It was devastating as granny was my favorite grandparents back when
when i was small.
She was the one who took care of me when i was a kid, stayed at my house
with my mum when my dad was away for work,
took good care of our daily life and so on.
But few years back she suffered from stroke and was unable to stand nor walk.
She spent most of her time on bed and start to have trouble speaking and understanding.
Its been years since she suffered from all kinds of pain
and everyone think that its a relieve for now that she had left.
But still, everyone feel pain for losing her.
49days of prayers is coming to an end soon
and im sorry i couldn't be there.
Even its abit too late but i still wan to say
you'll always live in our memories
and fyi, i've kept your lil picture in my wallet :)


Love,
WM

Sunday, January 8, 2012

2012

Celebrated new year eve with my family and friends at Genting.
Though the loved one was not around but thanks god i still have them :)












Apparently everyone was talking about resolution for the new year,
well, i don't want much for this year,
i just wan myself to be happy, without the need to please anyone.
As long as i am happy, i am pretty sure i can bring laughter to people around me.
Love yourself, before you love others.
I don't demand for a big change, major turn over or whatever shit,
i just wan to be able to do whatever that makes me happy,
whenever i want.
It sounds simple, but it was not never easy to be done.
Anyway, i've said, i won't promise to be good as i was last year,
but i'll be happier than ever .

Love,
WM