Monday, February 29, 2016

Beginning of 2016

How time flies and baam its already 2016 without realising much.
Was clicking on the link at my blogspot and found out that most of it weren't working anymore.
Remember how we used to be so active in updating blogspot filled with thoughts.
Spending time working on those pictures and background for the blog.
It's been so long since i last wrote feelings and thoughts out and it is so hard
for me to transform all these into words now.
Thoughts and feelings that have no place to go.
Nothing has ever changed. I am still so selfish.
People learn through mistakes and outgrow flaws
but i am still here turning around like i was trapped in a vicious circle.
I am so tired of myself.
But yet, i couldn't change. 
I tried. But i am still the person me myself dislike as well.
Maybe good things were never meant for me.
Because the only thing i know is to make it worst



Wednesday, May 13, 2015


First post in 2015.
You don't feel like revealing your thoughts and feeling anymore,
when time past.
You start keeping it all to yourself.
And this is why there is no quality sleep.
Only quantity.
No matter how much i slept,
i still feel restless.

Monday, April 28, 2014

New Start

Currently sitting in the office chaining all the things i wanna
type out in this lil space of mine.
Am doing my attachment now which is gonna end in one month time
and yes i will be back to the study life again.
Its been a while since i write, i have not touch my diary
months ago because it meant for sad stuff.
Why would i said its a new start, because
all the miserable feelings i have had was finally over.
I always thought that sadness is inevitable in a relationship
but i was wrong, whenever sadness outweighed happiness,
you know you are at the wrong side of a happy relationship.
At the end of the day, what matter the most in a rs
is whether you are happy .
In this new start over, everything feel so new yet so comfy to me
I have never felt so secure before.
and yes i am happy, sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
I truly appreciate that.
I hope this last.


Monday, January 6, 2014


2013 has come to an end. i have no idea what i have done in this year,
as in anything spectacular? NO i supposed.
it ended up pretty bad, first day of new year started off with 
an unpleasant mood, sometimes or should i say all the time i don't really know what i want,
i guess most of the people doesn't really know, we just live with it like that.
My life has come to a point where i have to make a decision,
to give up on something i had hold on for some time, or to keep
holding on, i know either decision will make me upset,
giving up on something that u once loved might be the most 
heartbroken thing that can ever be done but holding on to something
that makes you upset doesn't make it sounds any better.
In this point, i am just confuse, what kind of life am i looking forward to,
maybe i have always know what i want but i am afraid to take the step,
oh god. i just feel like crying .

Thursday, July 25, 2013


Just read one of my bestie's blog about whats the reason of us blogging
still even till now when friends around us are ditching it slowly
and all their blogs are long neglected.
As what she mentioned in her blog, at first we blog for attention,
hope someone who cares will read our blog and etc but
now its like we wish to leave some footprints
and memories in a particular month or particular day to be
reminisced sometime later in the future.
She was right about that because i always find myself
linger around my own blog even though i have no new updates,
but i will just scroll to my old blog post and read what i've written down.
its fun, because human mind changes all the time, maybe at that 
moment i have that thought but i might think differently now when i 
read back the post and big possibility i will laugh at myself for being
so emotional or even stupid .
Anyway, nothing special recently. Just done the stupid surgery one month ago,
but i was back to school one week after i rest myself at home because
it was dead boring !! even i have tons of MC to be fully utilized but ughhh..
And yes, i've gone through the whole nightmare again.
Just done most of my midterm papers and tons of assignment deadlines
are waiting ahead. hopefully i could finish all by next week and there goes 
my holiday awaiting. My friend said i need a life goal so that i can keep 
myself occupied finding ways to achieve it... Well, i have never think of
that because all i want now is to graduate, get a job and pay my loan.
Goal of my life. Hmm. I think i need to come up with something like
mostly guy will say i want a lamborghini before 30 or earn the first bucket of gold before
30 or etc. Will go figure it out.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Third Year

Entering Third Year of LLB indicates that there is still
half way to go till i complete my law degree.
Watching people around me graduate and start seeking for job
kinda stress me out, especially those started saving money
for houses, increases the pressure along as well.
Started to think how well can i afford myself if i graduate
and start my first job and receiving least salary a chambee can get.
Well, doesn't really wanna stress myself out with all these shit yet because
it's only the second week of the semester and i've attended all the third year subjects lecture
in this two weeks and made me horridly realized it wasn't as easy as i thought,
i mean no one ever told me it will be easy but at least i thought i could handle it.
But after all the lectures, i was wrong. Everything was just so new to me
and it took me 200% of attention to just figure out what was the lecturer talking about.
ok lah. stress enough with all these study shit and busy semester with my retake subjects
a idiot cyst decided to come out from nowhere and i have to surgically remove it asap.
It was set on this Friday. Since i have been through the same nightmare three years ago,
i knew how the whole things work but still, poking my vein to give me dropping still freaks me out.
Its been some time since i last blog, trying to link all my words to sentence giving me a hard time.
Thats it. Till then.


Thursday, April 18, 2013

Good old days

Went to a bike session with my girls
and remind me of the good old days
we spent together ...
When all of us were still single,
spent our time partying together,
studying together,
having countless sleep over,
messing around with each other (well we still does that now)
Nevertheless, miss those days when there were
less boundaries and restriction because
all of us were still searching for the special someone.
As much as i miss the old days we had together,
still, we gotta move on.
This if life.
But i guess everyone is satisfied with what we have now
and peaceful life is what we've got right now.
As what my dad told me,
restriction and boundaries is anyhow needed.
Live with it :)